GBU: "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel", "Wanderlust", "Total Recall" and "Dark Shadows".

Since writing full reviews - and even Short Takes - has become almost impossible (until someone pays me maybe...hehe) we'll give GBU a try and rank the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of recent films I've seen. Let me know what you think of this new experiment and as always thanks for reading!

Total Recall (dir. Len Wiseman) *½

The good: It's always nice to see Colin Farrell onscreen, although he's made it clear that he now fares much better in smaller works (see Ondine and In Bruges). Also that body, wow!

Also, give Kate Beckinsale more villainous roles, she was delicious in this!

The bad: why bother remaking a movie when you'll just remind audiences of why the first one isn't even much of a classic to begin with? 

The ugly: the whole Asian-meets-futuristic aesthetic felt old in The Matrix and that came out almost 15 years ago, in this movie it just was awful to watch.

Wanderlust (dir. David Wain, 2012) ***

The good: this Aniston/Rudd reunion reminded us what made them so great to watch in The Object of My Affection back in 1998. Their chemistry is spot on! Wain's screenplay (co-written with Ken Marino) is a treasure chest of one liners and manages to be funny without being too crass and insensitive.

The bad: just nitpicking here but the ending was slightly facile.

The ugly: N/A

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (dir. John Madden) ***

The good: Judi Dench. Maggie Smith. Tom Wilkinson. Bill Nighy. Celia Imrie. Penelope Wilton. Ronald Pickup. Enough said. This cast is to die for and it's great to see real grown up movies are still being made. Dench's soulful performance was worth the admission ticket. How can an actress do so much with so little?

The bad: too many plots means we always end up craving more from the best, like Wilkinson's character.

The ugly: why does Dev Patel keep playing Indian stereotypes?

Dark Shadows (dir. Tim Burton) *

The good: Michelle Pfeiffer needs to be in more movies! It was also nice to see Helena Bonham Carter pushing her shtick to new places and Eva Green was simply to die for! (No pun intended)

The bad: the Burton-Depp thing has been old for almost a decade now, it's time to stop them!

The ugly: Burton's aesthetics seem to be getting more self indulgent with each passing film, in Dark Shadows the settings were so contrived that we couldn't allow ourselves for a moment to see the fantastical in all of this, everything felt just so stale.

Sheet-y Saturday (on a Sunday)

Where we take a look at posters for upcoming features.

All eyes are set on Kathryn Bigelow's followup to the astonishing The Hurt Locker and considering she's once again dealing with boys' territory she might just blow our minds again. So far the campaign for Zero Dark Thirty has been rather tasteful. This redacted teaser poster for example forces us to look closer, to examine more and considering she isn't even showing us any of the famous faces in the movie, it's safe to assume Bigelow is on her top game. 

Only god knows what this movie's about, but why - one wonders - is it falsely advertising the actors in it or have the actors been so photoshopped they look unrecognizable?

Why does Uma look like Katherine Heigl? Why does CZJ look like Keira Knightley and why oh why does Dennis Quaid look like a Tom Cruise impersonator? The horror! (Said horros is clearly expressed in Gerard Butler's WTF face)

Short Take: New Year's Eve

New Year's Resolutions for the Cast and Crew of New Year's Eve

Sarah Jessica Parker: quit romantic comedies where you aren't playing Carrie Bradshaw.

Ashton Kutcher: quit playing the know-it-all slacker.

Lea Michele: quit using your wonderful voice as an excuse to portray shrill control freaks.

Jessica Biel and Katherine Heigl: just quit.

Michelle Pfeiffer: stop hitting on younger men who aren't half as hot, or talented, as you (i.e. Zac Efron, Rupert Friend in Cheri etc.)

Halle Berry: prove what an amazing actress you can be! Your little scenes were the most touching in the entire movie!

Robert de Niro: stop playing possessive fathers who die, get sick or are related to Ben Stiller.

Abigail Breslin: please stop growing up *sad face*

Seth Meyers: keep your day, err night job.

Sarah Paulson: get someone to hire you in an awesome indie where you're the lead. You've got the chops ma'am! (this year you were fantastic in American Horror Story and Martha Marcy May Marlene)

Héctor Elizondo: since Garry Marshall loves you and listens to you, threaten not to be in his next movie unless it's as brilliant as Pretty Woman or as entertaining as The Princess Diaries.

Hollywood: make it your new year's resolution to stop making movies like New Year's Eve!

Grade: *

Style Sunday.

Jessica Biel might not have my greatest esteem as an actress but she's one helluva dresser.
She's a lovely overachiever in luscious Giambatista Valli for a premiere of The A-Team.
The simple Grecian draping is very in right now and her loose tresses compliment the ensemble in a beautifully understated way.


Unlike some of her Glee costars, Jayma Mays proves that in order to impress you don't need to forget what you are all about.
In a simple outfit consisting of a BCBG mini and Jimmy Choo clutch and shoes, Mays brings a certain something to a look that would've been more appropriate for a day out shopping, not a red carpet.
She's the epitome of humble grace.

Which look do you like best?

The A-Team *1/2

Director: Joe Carnahan
Cast: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
Sharlto Copley, Jessica Biel, Patrick Wilson, Brian Bloom
Gerald McRaney, Jon Hamm

There is nothing inherently evil about The A-Team besides the fact that it's so utterly disposable.
For almost two hours we are showered with incoherent action sequences, really bad writing, more of that flashy-leading-to-nowhere editing and a sad concept of what entertainment should be about.
Based on the 80's TV show, the plot follows the original premise as in how a group of clandestine army combat unit is framed for a crime they didn't commit, become federal fugitives and seek to clear out their name.
Nothing much about what the A-Team does makes much sense; they fly tanks, then drive those tanks out of lakes, have budget to create giant disappearing acts and several other preposterous actions.
The one thing they do get quite right is the casting. How Liam Neeson managed to keep a straight face with all the insane things the director asked him to do is testament to his outstanding thespian skills. He actually takes John "Hannibal" Smith, his character, seriously and his scenes have a strange resonance that cancel the ridiculousness going on around him.
Copley bursts with energy as the insane H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock and while Jackson lacks the intensity of the iconic Mr. T, he does a satisfying job.
Perhaps the saddest thing about The A-Team is that for all its loudness and show-off-ness when you leave the theater you might have no recollection of what you just saw.

Is anyone else as psyched about this as I am?

Easy Virtue **

Director: Stephan Elliott
Cast: Jessica Biel, Colin Firth, Kristin Scott Thomas, Ben Barnes
Kimberley Nixon, Katherine Parkinson, Kris Marshall

Meeting the in-laws for the first time has been a timeless reason for awkwardness, fear, hope and when it comes to plays and movies: comedy.
Larita (Biel) is a glamorous American widower who has just won a race car Grand Prix when she meets and marries, British aristocrat, John Whittaker (Barnes). The fast nature of their love-at-first-sight-relationship is such that it occurs during the opening credits.
After that it's off to meet the Whittaker family whose very British customs, especially those of matriarch Veronica (Scott Thomas) will obviously clash with Larita's upbringing and beliefs.
Based on an early play by Noël Coward, director Stephan Elliott's adaptation tries to spice things up by injecting dashes of modernity to a plot that occurs in the 1920's with results that don't work in any time setting.
Visually the film results beautiful and engaging (everything Biel wears is breathtaking) and the work of art direction and cinematography recall recent British films set during the world war eras.
The screenplay on the other side feels botched and forced, Elliot's adaptation removes what one would guess were traces of Coward's work and replaces them with all too obvious jokes delivered by the ensemble as if they were always expecting the cheesy cymbal clash used in bad stand up comedy.
The entire movie is filled with situations so vulgar that you know these characters would never have come close to being part of.
It doesn't help much that the quality fo the actors is all over the place (especially when their characters are so disperse as well) Biel, who looks gorgeous (even if the blonde color looks odd on her) can't deliver a charming joke even if her life depended on it, Barnes, who is often saved by his boyish looks, can't muster any trace of sexuality, or even masculinity, to make us understand what this allegedly wild woman saw in him (his character is also always singing which on the first occasion is rather enticing, but later becomes annoying and weird).
Firth who plays the Whittaker father, doesn't care much to even seem like he's in the film and Nixon and Parkinson, who play his daughters could've as well been played by the sisters from Disney's "Cinderella".
This all leaves the weigh on Thomas' shoulders, who like her character, has to lift up the entire ensemble into a level where you either love or hate her.
Delivering her lines with snappy confidence and droll resentment, she never falls into caricature which is more than can be asked for in a movie that expects us to laugh at a dog being crushed to death.