Writing Roundup.

Head to PopMatters where I review Harold Lloyd's iconic comedy Safety Last! and the endlessly disappointing Quartet.

Then, visit The Film Experience and read my short take on Rooney Mara and David Fincher's new collaboration and my need for the Dragon Tattoo sequel.

Happy weekend y'all!

Swoon.

(My) Best of 2011: Picture

10. Meek's Cutoff

Kelly Reichardt's revisionist Western was the greatest political movie of 2011. Combining post-feminist theories with a clear questioning of the Obama administration, the film used a historical event to sketch a very accurate portrait of the current state of America. Bruce Greenwood gives a brilliant performance as the charming Stephen Meek, a pioneering explorer leading three families to new territories, who refuses to acknowledge the fact that he has lost his way and is dragging them along to perdition. The film's ambiguous finale, made all the more fascinating because it happened due to budget problems, actually works as an unintentional but poignant reflection of a world economy that is making freedom of expression a luxury.

9. The Tree of Life

For decades, Terrence Malick has been one of the very few working artists who has proved to be in utter and complete awe of our planet and its creation. Instead of following the path of other filmmakers who more and more try to conceal their characters from nature or others who altogether decide to move their stories to different planets, Malick preserves an utmost spirit of wonderment. He is fascinated with the process of "creation" which usually gives his movies a Christian feel. However, in The Tree of Life he reminds us that atonement has little to do with organized religion and more with unity, at-one-ment. His movie might seem like a dream comprised of dinosaurs, abusive parents and traumas, but judging from the way in which one reacts to it, it's more similar to mystical ecstasy than facile psychology.

8. Drive

Nicolas Winding Refn's neon-noir work of art was a refreshing take on the mythical figure of the American cowboy, who has now moved to the city and remains as mysterious and unbreakable as ever. The visionary director makes his hero, a questionable figure who has to deal with common things like working for a living but it still happens to be ruled by a strict moral code that separates him from other mortals. As portrayed by Ryan Gosling, the nameless Driver is a figure we can admire, fear and lust after. If Refn was trying to make a point about the way we project our desires onto others, he does it while stimulating both our intellect and injecting us with adrenaline. The action sequences in the film have a strange beauty that might not send us flying off our seats with thrills, but stir thoughts within us, similar to what modern art does. Like Mulholland Dr. the film was also a critique to the Hollywood way of life, with Refn both reveling in the artifice of Los Angeles and reveling its polished decay. With its spare dialogues and bright colors, it's as if someone loaded Tarantino on Xanax and asked him to make a 70s Clint Eastwood vehicle using Michael Mann's aesthetic sensibilities.  

7. Certified Copy

Nowadays, it's rarely a joy to encounter a movie that foregoes all notions of traditional plot in order to explore the world of ideas. Most movies that try to do this end up confusing intellectualism with bullshitting and rely on facile tricks to convince us about their intelligence. Abbas Kiarostami's Certified Copy ought to change that because it finds unbearably touching humanity in a fascinating intellectual essay. Wondering what makes something a "copy" he explores the notions of creation and recreation by using people. Kiarostami could've easily turned his characters into puppets used to channel a message, but like a generous god he provides them with a soul. If only all philosophy was this richly realized...

6. Shame

It's strange to think of it, but the one thing the characters in this movie never seem to feel is actual shame. Michael Fassbender plays a man with a destructive sexual addiction and Carey Mulligan plays his alcoholic and equally chaotic sister. The siblings live in NYC and seem to have carved a personal playground of pain under the city's stars. Other directors could've shamed their characters and reduce them to morally acceptable examples, but Steve McQueen merely observes them and lets them be. The film is filled with scenes of utmost loss and despair but they are treated with such delicate bluntness that we have no choice but to try and empathize with these people. The film's most poignant scene has the siblings watch a cartoon on TV and for a moment it seems like they've found peace. Even if it alludes to the origin of all our problems in our childhood, it also achieves a mystical connection that resembles time travel.

5. Martha Marcy May Marlene

The year's most astonishing debut had Sean Durkin revisit the dreamlike aesthetics of 70s movies while giving Elizabeth Olsen the richest female role of 2011. The film deals with the trappings of a cult and the consequences their practices have on believers. But besides pointing out the perils of submitting yourself to the will of others, the film draws a fascinating parallel line that studies fact and fiction, the way in which we are our own creators and how we can build entire worlds to fit our needs. The title protagonist isn't merely complex because she can become so many different people, she's fascinating because she evokes the never ending process of creation; we are never sure how many people she has been and how many people she will be. The film's technical achievements were unusually inventive and helped the director transmit paranoia in open spaces, making nature both a witness of our distress and an eternal perpetrator of evil.

4. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Who would've guessed that director David Fincher would craft his most personal movie to date from a pulpy bestseller? The way in which he grabbed the story of hacker Lisbeth Salander and ruined journalist Mikael Blomkvist and turned it into an exhilarating conversation with god, was a perfect reminder that art was invented to connect us to what we couldn't explain. Sure, the film succeeds as a fantastic, exciting thriller (something its Swedish predecessor did with just as much efficiency but without the aesthetic grace) but it works at its best when Fincher leads us past the plot twists and points out the fact that we all hide skeletons in our closets, our collection of personal experiences becoming a cabinet of horrors and wonders alike.
That he allowed Lisbeth to dream of love speaks highly of the director's humanistic side, that just as easily he  takes illusion away from her, speaks of his ruthlessness as a creator.

3. Midnight in Paris

Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris was a surprise because it proved for once and for all, that its maker is one of the few artists blessed with the ability to rejuvenate himself when least expected. How can he keep on finding beauty in subjects he's dealt with constantly for more than four decades? How is it that his movies always seem to be about the same things and each time we find ourselves enthralled by their deep wisdom? His love song to Paris and some of his heroes is a remarkably enjoyable piece that pretty much fulfilled whoever saw it. Like enjoying a rich, perfect dessert, the film pleased and delighted without overwhelming the palate, every time it left you wanting more.

2. Melancholia

The end of the world has never been treated with the delicacy Lars von Trier presents it with in Melancholia. Coming from the ode to chaos that was Antichrist it would've been easy to assume that the director had definitely entered a period of complete darkness, for how does once descend into such hell and come back unscathed? Like mythical heroes, von Trier not only emerged from the underworld alive, he came out with a new sense of appreciation for the beauty in life. His movie about the end of the world is tragic yes, but within the deep pain portrayed by his actors and the precision of his almost operatic conduction (he finds a beauty in chaos that people like Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich only dream of  achieving) there is something breathtakingly beautiful. He does not relish in making others suffer this time, instead he seems to be for the first time looking at death right in the eyes and embracing the sense of peace found in its irreversible finality.

1. Weekend

There are romances with repercussions that resonate for as long as we live. Said romances usually end before we are ready to give them up. Without us being aware of the fact that we are living something that will establish a "before and after" in our existence, we then discover we revisit these moments forever and they most likely will accompany us to our deathbed. Then, there are movies that deal with these romances. Movies like Casablanca, Lost in Translation, The Way We Were, Brief Encounter...all of which talk of love that was, love that is and love that will forever be. Like said romances, we also find ourselves revisiting these movies in our dreams more often than we'd like to. Can it be that we all harbor a secretly masochist hopeless romantic within? Or is it that real life never fulfills what art promised? Both could be answers that come to mind while watching Andrew Haigh's Weekend, this miniature masterpiece is a lovely exercise in style, execution and transcendence. The way in which the director enters the lives of two men who fall in love over a weekend, is nothing if not exceptional. Haigh has such eye for detail that we have to ask ourselves if this wasn't taken straight from one of his memories, watch how lived in the spaces feel, how effortlessly the actors live within these characters...the magic in Weekend is that it doesn't really feel like a movie, it feels like we're witnessing real life, things happening right in front of us. Where it could've been political, the film forgoes the dynamics of homosexuality and instead focuses on the complexities of humanity. Instead of concentrating on representing specific concepts and conceptions, the film aims to address our hearts without forgetting our minds. If you find yourself thinking about Weekend long after you've seen it, you will understand what the characters felt. The movie sometimes becomes too painful to watch, its simplicity bordering dangerously on docudrama without reducing itself to the tackiness of reality shows. However like a failed romance, there is much more to gain from the movie, than the idea of not having it in your life. To watch this movie is to witness love itself being invented. The precision of its storytelling, a reminder that like everything else, love too must fade. The dreamlike quality of its urban spaces an invitation for us to pursue it no matter what.

(My) Best of 2011: Actress

5. Keira Knightley in Last Night

It's a true shame that Keira Knightley keeps becoming one of the finest working actresses and people don't seem to be noticing it, taking her for granted as a "has been" among the new crop of British ingenues and that itself might be her problem, Keira has always known how to infuse her characters with ages old wisdom. See her turn as Joanna in Last Night, while the movie itself sometime lingers too dangerously on being some sort of Closer redux, her performance is a complex study of the human heart. Watching her protect her marriage ferociously while being tempted by the idea of restarting an old affair, she is the epitome of a "woman". Knightley's beauty never overshadows her character's deep longings, and she never allows Joanna to descend into soap opera territory, instead she just lets the character speak through her body. Her laugh becomes a bashful flirtatious move, her elegant walk becomes an awkward attempt at shielding herself from what seem like weak moments. It's a pleasure to realize Keira is able to keep surprising us. 

4. Juliette Binoche in Certified Copy

No actress lights up the screen as effortlessly as Juliette Binoche. Whether it's the way in which she lets her characters take over her, the effervescence of her sensual smile, the added bonus that she always chooses interesting projects or just her otherworldly beauty, she always seems to possess a wisdom kept away from us mere mortals. She has that kind of quality in which she can play a "mother" and still be extremely sensual, or she can play a "sexy" woman and retain some innocence. This quality has never been reflected better than in Abbas Kiarostami's Certified Copy, where Binoche plays a charming woman having trouble with the man who might be her husband or a writer she admires (don't ask if you haven't seen it). In order to play a nameless character that could've easily fallen into being nothing but an archetype, Binoche is able to imprint her ethereal qualities on a woman that might as well be nothing but an intellectual essay.
She makes art both tangible and unreachable, always making us wonder what lies between thee fascinating layer we are watching at an established moment.

3. Kirsten Dunst in Melancholia

A wedding is supposed to bring out moments of unbridled joy but what happens when instead it becomes a culmination of a life of sorrows? Such is the case with Justine (Dunst) a woman who we gather has earned everything she wanted and is just waiting for marriage to fulfill her. During the first scenes Dunst shines with the vibrant energy she has displayed onscreen for almost two decades, her cheerleader smile lighting up everyone else, yet as the plot moves forward and Justine becomes more aware of just how unhappy she is about to become, we see a part of the actress that has rarely surfaced. She turns into a fearful, sad creature, overwhelmed by the lack of significance in her life. It should be ironic that she seems rejuvenated by the fact that the world is about to end. Dunst plays Justine like a human being ascending into the realms of sainthood. In a performance with facial expressions as beautiful and touching as Falconetti's in The Passion of Joan of Arc the actress gives one of the most touching portrayals of metaphysical ecstasy to be ever put onscreen. 

2. Rooney Mara in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Taking on a role made iconic by an actress the year before, Rooney Mara seemed to have been headed for career suicide as Lisbeth Salander. However what she did was even more impressive: she delivered a performance all her own, that takes nothing from the Swedish movies made before her and seems to dig deep into the essence of the literary source. To say that Stieg Larsson's novel wasn't particularly profound would be paying it a compliment, given that it prefers to stick to plot points rather than exploring the nature of its characters. The magic in Mara's performance is all the more astonishing when you realize that she's playing a heroine that we shouldn't really be rooting for. While the previous incarnation of Lisbeth aimed for the stars, Rooney's goes for something much more earthly, she plays Salander as someone breakable. Mara reveals Lisbeth's weaknesses! Watch that scene in which her disgusting guardian touches her face, the way in which the actress' body seems to shrink like a fearful animal, or later as she takes control of her sexuality, as we watch her literally blossom in front of our eyes. Mara combines Lisbeth's childlike features with an ancient soul that's been hurt too much and now walks the Earth looking for solace, for absolution.

You don't expect to have your heart broken by a character who asks for permission to murder a man and yet that's just what she does, the most ironic of all being that her character would kick her ass for doing so.

1. Elizabeth Olsen in Martha Marcy May Marlene

Sean Durkin's directorial debut will forever be remembered for the powerhouse performance turned in by Elizabeth Olsen. Although saying a "powerhouse performance" seems to be referring to something big, loud and imposing, yet what we get instead is a purely introspective character study. Playing one woman with three different personalities, of sorts, Olsen is just breathtaking. The movie begins with her running away from what we later learn is a cult that had kept her captive. To this cult she was known as Marcy May, once hse goes back to her "normal" life, she goes by Martha, and she imprints all of these personae with different qualities; her Martha being a wild child who was always in the lookout for a deeper existence, her Marcy May being an illusion-filled girl whose crush turned into a nightmare and her Marlene being a completely fictitious creation that defines this woman's darkest intentions. Olsen is so enigmatic that the movie ends and we still have no idea if there were Marys, Mercedes, Mildreds, Marges...within her. She evokes the complexities of a Bergman heroine with the rawness of Cassavettes' characters. She is both beautiful and terrifying to watch, a mystery and its answer.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo ****

Director: David Fincher
Cast: Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara
Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgård, Yorick van Wageningen
Robin Wright, Joely Richardson, Goran Višnjić, Joel Kinnaman
Embeth Davidtz, Steven Berkoff, Geraldine James
Julian Sands, Josefin Asplund

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo takes place in a godless land, where what once was mystical and spiritual, has been replaced by an omnipresent respect for technology. For a director that has explored the viciousness of modern society with such an emphasis on the machinery - both literal and figurative - behind the human psyche, this adaptation of the Stieg Larsson bestseller, might very well be his most personal work to date.
In it, David Fincher once again establishes himself as the master of all things "procedural" but he also seems to be reaching out towards questions that lie outside the realm of computer chips and science. This is the first movie in which he acknowledges the fact that some people truly believe there are things that are inexplicable and that there just might be a god.
Of course, Fincher doesn't rely on the sensuous scope of a Terrence Malick movie, or even the aggressive interrogations of Lars von Trier, instead he explores this notion through the elements that have always worked for him. This is why the heroine in this film, Lisbeth Salander (Mara) is an expert hacker with serious social disabilities. She sits on the outskirts of a society that has made her feel foreign (that the movie opens with a cover of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" is a strike of genius) and has made the conscious decision to rely specifically on her knowledge.
Lisbeth's job is to do research, which in less fancy terms means she hacks people's computers, bank accounts and any other sort of electronic device in order to figure out who they are. This obviously helps her decipher people's economic and social behavior, but it doesn't really help her connect with them, discover who they are behind the public facade.
That's why when she is asked to comment on the personality of Mikael Blomkvist (Craig) - a fallen from grace journalist she's been investigating - she can only add that she thinks he should perform more cunnilingus on his lover. Isn't our bedroom behavior, the one thing not everyone can have access to?
Blomkvist is hired by aging magnate Henrik Vagner (Plummer) to help him discover what happened to his niece who disappeared mysteriously more then four decades before. The reluctant journalist takes on the mission and soon his path will cross with Lisbeth's.
Larsson's novel shocked worldwide audiences because it revealed a portrait of Sweden that wasn't "conceivable". One where technology moguls and former Nazis (always the Nazis!) controlled the business world and constantly violated the widely accepted notion that Sweden was one of the happiest places on earth.
Where Larsson commented on the corruption that flowed within the structure of his country, Fincher observes it not as an overpowering force, but as a series of conflicts between vastly different currents of thought. Superficially every battle in the movie can be summed up as a juxtaposition of the old with the new, but this of course remains entirely subjective as you discover the ramifications of each of the parties.
Perhaps the most obvious dichotomy is the one found between religion and technology, it's as if Fincher is asking if it's impossible for god to exist in a world where technology has made humans almost omnipotent.
While some people might think of organized religion as something normal, most characters in this film react harshly towards displays of faith. Blomkvist's teenage daughter Pernilla (Asplund) reminds her father that she is not dangerous when he sees her say grace before a meal and a member of the Vanger family casually wonders "can you imagine one of us being religious?" as if it was something to run away from.
This is tightly connected to another conflict in the movie, that of civilization vs. nature. Almost every scene set in exteriors is filled with endless menace, from snow storms, to the creepy shadows cast by a forest...it's as if these people have stopped trusting the outside world.
Most scenes set outside of houses and buildings place the characters close enough to a door, as if they need to be prepared to run from something dangerous. This is even more persistent in scenes shot on interiors in which the marvelous DP Jeff Cronenwerth, always tries to keep nature outside. In several scenes glass plays an essential weapon against the perils of nature, especially when Cronenwerth uses it as a reflective surface which fools the characters into thinking that there is nothing to distrust outside.
This can also be linked to what was supposed to be the central theme in the novel, the eternal battle of the sexes, especially that which evolves into misogyny. Blomkvist and Lisbeth run into the possibility of finding a killer of women who not only relies on nature to destroy them, but also seems to be targeting religious people. When to this, you tie the constant mentions of a "new" and "old" Sweden represented by both the denial of the past and the fast evolution of technology, and you realize that Fincher's film was able to go past the lightness of its literary source. For what can an old world mean if not one ran exclusively by patriarchs? One in which women in power were to be feared and destroyed at all costs. During a key moment, Blomkvist and Lisbeth have sex. She is on top and shuts his mouth as she tries to achieve orgasm. His face turns into a canvas on which discomfort and shock are displayed; who does this woman think she is and why is her orgasm more important than mine? Lisbeth may not realize that what she's doing goes against the chauvinist ways that have always ruled the world and throughout the film we are reminded that technology and so called evolution may not be but more tools to maintain this prehistoric nature. Fincher's movie is just as thrilling and pulpy as any audience member would want, but beneath the smooth seal of its auteur lies a twisted study of how we are forever doomed to repeat history.

Class.

Oscars 2012: Best Dressed.

It was the safest year we've ever had on the red carpet. This means that:
a) There's little to make fun of and even less to give us nightmares (something that very well describes the utter forgettability of the whole event)
b) There is just one look that will go down on the fashion books (guess which one...)
c) Meryl Streep is featured among the best dressed for the second time! You'll be in shock when you see how high she ranked!

10) Natalie Portman
Since last year she denied us moments of amazing fashion (damn you baby bump!) she tried hard to make up for it this year in a series of looks that highlight her loveliness. This vintage Dior gown features polka dots, yes polka dots, and even if you would've assumed they only worked in relaxed episodes of Mad Men, Portman made the look acquire a certain je ne sai quoi. The hair is a bit of a letdown, but she looks so jovial and fresh...

9. Michelle Williams

It was about time MiWi wore something that made it seem she was having fun and enjoying herself. The girlieness in this Louis Vuitton is undeniable and the way she accessorized it (the little bow!) is absolutely adorable. This is the first time I've ever been in love with one of her looks.

8. Emma Stone

Yes, we all know this Giambattista Valli is essentially Nicole Kidman's Balenciaga froma  few years ago. The difference is in the style of the woman who wears it. With Nicole, the dress made a statement; it seemed to be saying "I am a gift to humanity" and neither of us could prove it wrong, which is why the dress gained a certain arrogance (very much like Jolie and her leg this year). 

As worn by Emma, the giant bow expresses her exciting youthfulness and her eager desire to be liked. The flow of the gown is remarkable and Emma's grin brings it something that Nicole's icy demeanor never achieved.

7. Rose Byrne

She's sexy and she knows it, that's why she went for a simple Vivienne Westwodd sequined sheath that screamed disco queen meets dominatrix. 

6. Stacy Kiebler
She may not be a celebrity but boy was she perfect on the red carpet. This Marchesa is one of the most beautiful I've ever seen. The structure is perfect, the color is bold and demands everyone's attention. Clooney lost Best Actor but he sure had his own little golden statue to take home.

5. Penélope Cruz

Everyone seems to have a strong opinion on Pé's new hairstyle. I think the length is perfect and even if it gives her a slight severity it still brings out the Grace Kelly-ness in her. Something highlighted even more by this gorgeous sky-blue Armani Privé which follows Pé's own kind of red carpet trend but feels utterly refreshing in spite of its classic-ness.

4. Jessics Chastain

Do you remember when Beyoncé wore an awful House of Dereon black and gold dress to the Oscars that made her look like a huge Chinese lantern? Do you remember when a few years later Halle Berry showed Ms. Knowles how to do black and gold? Well, Jessica Chastain now occupies the title of best black.and-gold wearer of all time, in this majestic Alexander McQueen that culminates Chastain's impeccable red carpet season with what might become her most iconic look. She is picture perfect and too flawless for words.

3. Rooney Mara
Bangs? Check.

Intense red lipstick? Check.
Givenchy structured dress? Check.

Mara was another newbie princess bringing it all together with a flawless Oscar look. 

The dress' texture made it look like she was surrounded by clouds. Perfection!

2. Meryl Streep
Upon first looking at Meryl's liquid gold Lanvin, one would've thought she was dressed like an Oscar because she knew she'd go home empty handed. As the night progressed, the color gave the Queen of Actors a certain glow that made her look holier than ever.

Then, she won and Meryl achieved a new power, that of prophecy given how beautifully her newest statuette looked against her dress. This is the best Streep has ever looked at any awards ceremony. Well done! Posterity will be thankful.

1. Gwyneth Paltrow
On a night that was all about nostalgia and old Hollywood glamour, Gwyneth Paltrow set the bar higher than the rest in this absolutely exquisite Tom Ford dress complete with a Joan Crawford-esque cape. This look is so perfect that not even the cape is mock-able. It gives her a demure consistency that's only surpassed by the simplicity of her makeup, hair and accessories. If she had gone for a tight bun or a high hairdo, she might've been too severe, or too old. The ease with which her pony tail let the dress take over and highlighted her sinfully beautiful bone structure, might just be Gwyneth's most astonishing red carpet look. Some are crediting the dress to the fact that she had first dibs on Ford's ultra secret new collection but come on, how many actresses out there can pull off a cape?
Gwyneth's boldness and refreshingly oxymoronic effortless glamour are what sartorialist dreams are made of!

What were your favorite looks?

I also discussed fashion with the awesome Nathaniel and Kurt over at The Film Experience. So what are you waiting for? Head over there and join the merriment!

Oscar Leap Recap.

As usual the Oscars were an almost instantly forgettable affair. Billy Crystal did a decent, albeit extremely safe, hosting job and everyone and their grandmother knew that The Artist would win the top awards, so that gave the whole affair a slightly dull mood. Here are my fave bits in chronological order:

Queen Meryl, who had a great surprise in store, was on her usual wonderful mood. She is always such a good sport, even when she must suffer through some real humiliations, like having Sandra Bullock defeat her.

Cameron Diaz and J. Lo epitomized silly fun when they presented the make-up award. In all honesty though, I had no idea that Cam's behind was so, well, ample. 

Meryl being a sport for her The Iron Lady make-up team...

This was the second best win of the night. A complete surprise too, considering it actually deserved to win!

The Christopher Guest troupe was all sorts of brilliant and I couldn't help but wonder what are people waiting to have Eugene Levy play Marty in a biopic.

My favorite part about Dragon Tattoo winning Best Editing was to have the orchestra play the shoulda-been-a-winner score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.

This bit was slightly ridiculous but Gwynnie was Carole Lombard brilliant, proving that you can be funny and still look like a goddess.

Speaking of goddesses, I demand to get on whatever Emma Stone was on when she presented her award. She was such a joy to watch! She should've hosted the whole thing!

Isn't Kenneth Branagh the cutest?

No wait, isn't Uggie the cutest?

Ugh NO, wait, isn't Bret McKenzie the cutest?

Y'all know I can't stand Angelina Jolie most of the time, which is why I loved that Jim Rash mocked her ridiculous leg move right after she presented him with his Oscar. I'm sure he was exiled from Hollywood the following morning but his, well, rash move injected the event with an oh-no-he-didn't rush of joy.

Woody won!

I hope the Scorsese drinking game goes on for as long as the world exists.

Le sigh...

Rooney Mara won in my heart and I love that her clip was the most risky Oscar has done since I started watching them. Those who say she doesn't "act" should just take a look at hos this angelical creature turns into this:

"I AM insane!"

Her boyfriend looks so supportive! Did you know he's the son of Malcolm McDowell and Mary Steenburgen?

THE moment of the night:

Her "what?" was such a lovely moment. I'm sure she never expected to win again. Well done Queen!

SaBu was rightfully one of the first to stand up and applaud the great Streep!

God knows I love Glenn Close (I'm a Patty Hewes wannabe) but Meryl has always had more of a movie star quality that she's always lacked. It was pleasant, if a bit heartbreaking, to see her become one of the all-time biggest losers.

Michel Hazanavicius and Bérénice Bejo are the new Brangelina, right? OK not really, but they exude old-world class in a way the other two will never do.

Gotta love Rooney's mischievous look.

And for those of you who feel I'm devoting too much to Meryl's win, just like her, I say:

"Whatever..."

Long live the Streep! Did you enjoy the Oscars or am I just bringing up bad memories? Had you moved on by now?