Thursday, June 16, 2011

Battle of the Bulges.

What better way to spend a night of leisure, after a long day of work than sitting in front of your TV and watching shitty action movies right?
That's what I had in mind yesterday when I decided I wasn't in the mood to think and decided to treat myself to a double bill of Priest and The Mechanic.
Let it be established that I am, by no means, the target audience for either of these movies, I just wanted to see them for well, the beef factor.

Priest gave me this:

The amazing Paul Bettany's abs appeared for little less than a second and the rest of the movie, which is an uninspired postapocalyptic mix of The Searchers and Underworld, other characters talked about Bettany's character's chastity.

The Mechanic ineversely gave me these (all within the first ten minutes! Plus gratuitous scenes with Ben Foster and Jason Statham caught in tiny spaces)





Bettany might be the better actor, although you really couldn't say based on his recent work, but Statham knows that if you got it, you should flaunt it!

Grades (based on factors beyond the beef)

Priest *
The Mechanic **

2 comments:

Andrew: Encore Entertainment said...

But, Jose, you can't blame us for thinking that you're grading on lust when the ones with the more skin gets the superior grade.

Jose said...

The movies were too vicious for me to write them a serious review. Believe me I tried, but I do have good arguments! Feel free to ask!